Ride it for all it’s worth

I’ve been making music, playing games, writing games, programming tools, and writing stories since I realized I could. Not all at the same time. For years it was music, then games and music, and now writing. For a while, I feared myself a creative dilettante. I assure myself that music is something I can get back to. I tell myself I’ve made some interesting music already whether I do go back to it or not. I don’t need an identity as ‘a composer’ or ‘a writer’ because I have already made music and written some stories and they have made me and a few others feel things. I still get neurotic about it, though.

Out of morbid curiosity, I skimmed some articles about ‘creative people.’ There’s lots of contradictory information about what makes such people different. Here’s my generalization:
Creative people will go mad if they try to suppress the urge to make something. The things they make are motivated from some internal wonkiness that creates chum that they have to vomit up. Some of this can be shaped into things that they will share with the world. The majority will not.

I think creativity is on a sliding scale rather than having a binary value. Some people must spend hours each day doing their thing, and some can do it a few times a week or month. My creative output and hours are partially dictated by my energy, as I work full-time and don’t have the energy to do more than one thing at once. The flesh is weak, and that drags down the heart.

How long will I continue this spate of writing? I could lose interest or end up doing music or games with my limited time instead. I don’t know. I’ll ride it for all it is worth and see what comes together. I’m happy I took it up in January. Whatever happens, I’ll keep reading and reviewing. My consumption and urge to give back is a given.

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