I have never fancied myself a writer. I loved writing when I was young, and I have always loved reading. As I aged, I stopped writing fiction. My internal editor and censor was too loud to squeeze much out. I would have plenty of stories in my head, but I would only jot down notes and use them as inspiration for the pen-and-paper/LARP games I was involved in. Writing is a craft that requires plenty of dedication and practice. Since I have so many hobbies, I’ve never thought I’d have the energy to give writing my stories. However, I recently had an idea that learning to write could improve my communication.
I believe I have many communication difficulties. Explaining my emotions is difficult, since most of the time I don’t completely understand them. They tend to be tangled together, tethered tightly so that when I try to tug on one experience or feeling, a whole bunch come to the fore with it, all yarn-vomit like. Explaining my thoughts is a bit easier, but since my thoughts form patterns instead of lines, expressing them in a way that other people can grasp and understand often takes a long time. It’s work to unwind all of this and give it to people in formats they can digest.
I realized recently that I like reading romance because it is a genre where the focus of a given book is supposed to be feelings. These books are about relationships and are quite plentiful on the library shelves. Genre romance is my favorite! Mix up feelings and cyberpunk, or relationships and gritty fantasy, and I’m a happy human.
I took a writing class through the Experimental College because iI thought it would help my putting my feelings into words. I need deadlines and structure to start anything I am unfamiliar with. Writing about people and their feelings with the chance to edit the words afterwards (words cannot be unsaid) seemed less risky than doing a verbal braindump. I learned some interesting tidbits about myself during the process, and by continuing to write I hope to learn more.